What does re-aligning with your authentic self mean?
Well, in its most simple form, to me, it means to come home to ourselves. To reconnect with who we really are, to accept and relax into our uniqueness and all the qualities that are the make-up of our individual self.
When we to relax, accept and re-connect with who we authentically are, rather than who we think we ‘should’ be, we experience a feeling of coming back home to ourselves. We can begin to build our lives from this place – this authentic ‘at home’ place, so that every aspect of our life is in alignment with who we authentically are, rather than who we should have been.
When we are out of alignment – we are trying to be someone else. For example, maybe we are a “sensitive creative” but we are trying to be high powered bankers, because someone told us that is more acceptable. We spend our whole life continually telling ourselves “You are not allowed to be this sensitive creative, it is not ok.” We then try to use all our life and energy being that banker, trying to fit into the picture in our heads of how we ‘should be’, when in reality, everything about who we are doesn’t match. Realising this can be like a huge relief.
How do we know if it is our authentic self or our story running the show?
Firstly, it’s not about getting it right or wrong here. We may flick in-between the two regularly, particularly if we are only just beginning to get to know our authentic self and have spent a lifetime rejecting it.
For me, I know when I drop into my heart, or my authentic self. My heart will always tell me if it feels right or not.
If your head tells you I ‘should’ be doing something but there is a strong ‘no’ in my heart and I ignore my heart, you might find yourself getting confused and overwhelmed or anxious. But the moment you surrender and listen to your heart, or authentic self, you can relax and listen to the answer which naturally lies within you all along.
Can we begin re-aligning with simple small steps or does it have to be a big overhaul?
Simple, small steps to begin with are always best.
You can regularly tune into what your heart is telling you. Each day, ask yourself: “Do I actually want to be doing this, hanging out here, going with that person? If the answer is no, start practicing saying ‘no thank-you’ to whatever your heart doesn’t really want. This is a great first start.
When we say no to what we don’t want, we are actually saying ‘yes’ to what we do want. It can begin small.
“No I don’t want to go out there today”, “No I don’t want to spend my hours doing this’ or even so simple “No I don’t feel like eating yet, I’ll eat later”. The more we give ourselves permission to be ourselves, to honour that the more we gain strength, courage and power to start building a life we REALLY want, REALLY love and that fits with who we are.
Why do you feel re-aligning benefits us? In our life and our health?
As I work with macrobiotics and energy, I see time and time again people living lives disconnected from their true self, trying to be someone else, eventually it will effect their physical health, their eating habits, their energy and vitality and very often their heart. They can end up feeling ‘disconnected’ and ‘unfulfilled’. The moment you decide to accept yourself as you are, follow your heart, hang out with people that nourish this, did things that feed your heart, the more free you will feel. Energy improves, you will likely feel more relaxed and you might notice a new flow.
How do you help others come back into alignment with their authentic selves?
For each person it may begin slightly differently. With some we may begin from the outside in – with diet and lifestyle. I will be able to say where the energy is getting stuck and stagnant in someone and we may begin working on helping it flow more through changing diet and lifestyle habits. Very often and commonly once they follow these recommendations for a while and they feel a new release of energy and vitality, they are more ready to connect to their heart and emotional self once again. And then we will start working more deeply on this. Helping them listen to their hearts, to themselves, to their own bodies, to find their own voices.
With others we may begin from the inside out, connecting to emotions, heart and what their dreams and visions look like. We may work on this for a while, on the self-defeating belief systems that are running the show and work on healing and shifting these. Usually once they have a more positive, loving and accepting belief system in place they usually want to eat better and take better care of themselves anyway. And then we will work on them taking the steps needed to start building a life aligned with their own heart.
Any other tips?
First and foremost it all comes back to re-connecting and learning to listen once again to our hearts. When we were children our hearts were what led the way. We played, created, had a vast imagination, we loved, we laughed, we cried, and we were all dreamers with immense energy.
Begin to listen to what your heart is telling us. You can do many exercises, meditations, play, singing, and vision work, to re-awaken the heart energy. Connect to what you love once again, what brings you joy, and if there are any dreams there that you haven’t yet listened to.
Nicky Clinch is a Transformational Life Coach and Macrobiotic Counsellor. Nicky specializes in helping others realign with their authentic selves.
Nicky’s Being In Heart Workshop is on Friday 15th September at 42 Acres Shoreditch, 7pm. To see more or to book her 6-week programme “Feed Your Inner Warrior”, visit nickyclinch.com